so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize