I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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