My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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