We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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