we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize