I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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