i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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We just shotgunned beers for America
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
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The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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