Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize