You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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