Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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