Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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