when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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