I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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