Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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