I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Quick, to the slutcave!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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