glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
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so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
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I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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