Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
God, I missed his penis.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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