yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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