she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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