dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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