are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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