It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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