he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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