Duck Duck Cougar?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize