You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
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so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
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I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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