A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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