so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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