i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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