actually, I'm a sock model
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize