apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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