i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize