My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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