Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
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my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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