I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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