maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize