Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
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your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
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nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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