is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
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Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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