Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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