I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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