Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize