Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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