One girl and one boy is just not enough.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
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turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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