I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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