You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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