oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
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Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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