marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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