Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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