brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize