She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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