we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize