all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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