I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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