Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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